Dad Jokes – The Best Medicine!

Some say laughter is the best medicine, and there is good reason for that! Laughter benefits the body in a variety of ways.  Benefits of laughter include: boosts immune system, relives stress and tension, triggers the release of feel good hormones, burns calories and protects the heart by improving blood flow. A study in Norway even found that people with a strong sense of humor outlived those who didn’t laugh as much. The difference was particularly notable for those battling cancer.

In honor of father’s day we rounded up some of the Internets best “dad jokes”, because no one can tell a bad joke quite like dad. So go ahead and laugh (or eye-roll) your way to better health!

  • What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
  • Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
  • Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’
  • Me: “Hey, I was thinking…” My dad: “I thought I smelled something burning.”
  • Whenever we drive past a graveyard my dad says, ‘Do you know why I can’t be buried there?’ And we all say, ‘Why not?’ And he says, ‘Because I’m not dead yet!’
  • I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
  • Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
  • My dad got me with this one: ‘Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.’
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
  • “I’ll call you later!” – “Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”
  • Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long.
  • Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
  • What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto
  • How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
  • Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
  • How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
  • I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.
  • Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  • How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
  • Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
  • What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
  • Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
  • What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant
  • Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
  • Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
  • What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
  • I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.

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Leah Tinkham - Accupuncturist

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